Martian Colonization Experiment Underway In The Bay Area
Those scientists, you know, those nutty folks in white lab coats and spinning propellor beanies who have been warning us for some time about our bad habits and how they would come back to haunt us, are preparing us for our retreat to Mars by substituting that planet’s atmosphere for ours.
So far we humanoids are not doing so well, pointing at the New Orange sky and krinkling our block-like foreheads, eating breakfast at noon and preparing for bedtime at 6 p.m. Dogs are howling in confusion and fear, kids are crying and adults wondering if they’ll ever be able to take the Hummer again. Some of us are excited about the prospect of life on another planet – others are flatly refusing to eat potatoes grown in their own effluvia.
Not satisfied with preparing Californians for the New Normal of life on the Red Planet the Slide Rule Brigade extended their test area northward to Oregon and Washington state – with folks up there wondering why fires were sent hopscotching through their formerly leafy towns and cities when most were perfectly willing to move in with Matt Damon for a couple of decades.
Unbelievably, it appears that some among us have succumbed to Mars Madness and are setting their own fires – just to hurry things along, we guess.
Damage is still being assessed. Fires continue to burn. Scientists continue to make projections.
Right now, the numbers don’t look so good.
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Son of Jupiter and God of War.
Sure feels like it…
Mad crazy times out there right now bros.
(Edit)We feel…
Early this morning looked like the twilight zone and it’s cool out, after being hotter than hell for a week. This year couldn’t get any weirder.
Think we may get some increased ash fall as the winds weaken…
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop smoking, drinking, and gender reveal partying.
I was brushing the fangs under a SolarTube and my 10yo said I looked like the president.
Good comment on your facebook page. I liked that one, too…..
all the street lights are still on. the sensors are confused. its 1 p.m.
Our dog is hiding under the bed. We’re thinking of getting under there with her.
Any room left for us?
Jim G wins the comment of the week contest on facebook. Brilliant.
Yes. We’re grumpy ‘cause we didn’t think of it first…
Sturgis. I’m blaming this whole thing on Sturgis.
Apocalyptic? Puhlease! That sky is more gold circle winner than tan bronzer. People act so surprised, like they have never seen golden sky before, like they don’t recognize a winner. Well, I feel sorry for them. They don’t even know when they are winning! SO SAD!
Winning Bigly!