Editor;
I just turned 40. And I’m still single. The last two years haven’t exactly been conducive to finding the ideal mate but I’m wondering if I should be worrying? I’m not, but I’m wondering if I should be?
Because I show up to the few gatherings sanctioned by the Department of Health and my married friends and I endure the usual looks and questions and it gets boring.
I’m happy. My biological clock seems to have stopped ticking for me and I don’t feel driven to run to the altar with the first person who knows how to salsa dance and can put up with the occasional mood swing.
Apparently I’m not alone. More people appear content with staying single. Fewer are having children and when they do they’re having fewer children. More are leaving the church and traditional marriage is giving way to partnerships determined by work – with the stereotypical role of the male as primary breadwinner slowly fading away.
My remaining parent (another lesson I learned early on – nothing is “forever”) pinches my cheek and says to do what makes me happy. So I do. And so far that is working because I am content. But I have to wonder if others out there feel the same.
Sincerely,
Roslynn Pena/ Concord
“do what makes me happy”.
Make that your mission statement, and don’t hurt anybody… unnecessarily.
I feel the same way. I married young and divorced young.
A few really nice ladies have come into my life but none of them found me to be marriage material.
The longer I remain single the happier I become. Never did like the dating game.
I like being responsible for myself. I never feel lonely.
Marriage is not for everyone. Certainly not for me.
I have quality friends, real friends. They are my family and me theirs.
I may regret my choices as I grow older and I understand the consequences of the choices I have made.
Still not looking, still happy.
totally agree. very good post.
Yes. Well said. I have some married friends who keep up the charade of happiness for their facebook friends, and that’s about it.
Abe is my new best friend. He said it better than I ever could.
We’re happily married. Married my college sweetheart a long time ago. Men benefit more from marriage. My wife and I are both strong and independent but I’m the first person to admit I’m happier with a good woman in my life. I agree that marriage isn’t for everyone, but happily married people are happier IMO. It’s a comfortable feeling.
Talked with a lovely couple in Orinda tonight. Married 56 years we think they said… so there’s that!
My Parents were married for 74 years before my Mom passes. High Schools Sweethearts.
There are good marriages and they are a delight to behold.
Attitudes were changing before the Rona hit us. I think it’s probably a cyclical thing as one generation learns from the last.
I’ve been married 25 years. Have I enjoyed every moment of it? Nope. But we believe in commitment, working through any troubles, and not bailing just because we can’t agree whether to have burgers or pizza for dinner.
Too many people today seem eager to run at the first sign of trouble, rather than putting in the work that relationships require to grow and thrive.
Sounds like you have a great marriage. Blessings.