Don’t tell anyone, because apparently this is as closely guarded a secret as the Royal Romances at Westeros, but a Game of Thrones-style shuffle is underway for some mainstays of the Moraga fast food and coffee scene.
Rumors have been circulating for days, “no comments” are being issued as furiously as during a dungeon interrogation, and workers have apparently sworn a blood oath to management: don’t talk to the digital media or it’s into the deep fryer with you, knave.
Bonus points to anyone catching the double meaning of that last word – ed.
The upshot: Rheem Valley Starbucks has submitted a petition to occupy the larger footprint – and treasured Drive Thru rights – of its Neighbor to the North, Burger King. That’s right, your venti Mocha Macchiato may taste like a Whopper for a while if this deal goes through, and until they get all the ducting blown out.
The move would be huge for the destination Starbucks, currently sandwiched into a splintered kingdom built for Tyrion and cramped for space, and the Drive Thru option is likely to be a big draw for Wayfaring and Outwardly Mobile Moragans.
Burger King, apparently, will succumb to the wishes of the White Walkers and join the Old Gods of the Forest.
Also destined for the funeral pyres, we’re told, is the legendary Jack In The Box at 1440 Moraga Way, fabled home of St. Mary’s College wildlings in search of late night drunchies and, although we were never ever to confirm it, a hungry Grace Slick after a liquid and languid performance at the aforementioned college back in the days of yore.
Minions at the San Diego-based company, which maintains 2,200 outpost restaurants across the 21 Western states, mumbled hasty “we’re not supposed to talk about it” non-denial denials before hanging up, but where there’s smoke there’s apparently a grease fire.
Longtime residents may remember that the venerable establishment, critically lacking the Drive Thru option desired by so many, was ordered closed due to health code violations in 2010 and essentially “re-built from the drains up” at that time.
Records kept in the Temple of the Many Faces document multiple health code violations at the restaurant dating back to 2004.