Caution: Tongue In Cheek Zone; Retail Details; Deth Threat Drop-off

Veteran readers know we like to play with words, occasionally getting them to line up the way we like them, and that we also like to have fun when not covering the sundry details and events of the day.

Such was our mindset when we ran an inoffensive little photo of a double rainbow forming what looked to be a protective shield over the warmly illuminated city of Walnut Creek a few days back, never thinking folks would come to believe that someone, somehow had actually managed to dome the city like a turkey under a Victorian silver meat cover.

That was our first mistake. Because if this business has taught us anything during the far too many years we’ve been in it it’s that some people will believe most anything you put out there in a semi-serious tone – even if you’re clearly being playful.

We have to say we felt that even in this skewed day and age most everyone would know they were looking at a pretty double rainbow over the city and not some clandestinely installed plexi-glass Thunder Dome.

But we must apologize to the various city workers we’re told fielded inquiries from citizens concerned they’d been so domed. And we should be clear that what they’re actually seeing is a force field powered by daisy-chained indoor exercyclers at several of the city’s pedaling parlors. You heard it here first.

On somewhat firmer ground we do believe accounts of a stepped-up enforcement campaign against Retail Raiders who treat local stores as their own personal discount outlets – ostensibly passing on pilfered goods to high-level fences re-selling the goods through online stores. Witness reports and photos of detained individuals have been coming in and the senders appear glad something is being done about a problem many regard as out of hand, expressing encouragement for law enforcement and some suggestions for possible punishment – few of which we can repeat here.

Nothing official on this, yet, but perhaps some sort of public acknowledgement is brewing. We shall see.

Another barometer of the times for us who earn a living balanced on the sharp end of the quill is that our hate mail and death threats appear to be slowly ramping up again – in response to the election year, apparently. One sign of improvement, as far as we’re concerned at least, is that the perpetrators do appear to be working on their grammar and spelling.

Where we could once count on telltale overuse of exclamation points and some second grade spelling errors as indicators of hostile incoming missives the basement essayists have apparently turned to Grammarly and ChatGPT to throw us off guard. And while it’s by no means any easier to digest “Dye Yu Incell Lefty Scum” at any time it is slightly more palatable when it is spelled correctly.

Those phone calls are a little more difficult to head off, unfortunately, as the playful pranksters we contend with have learned how to spoof phone numbers and conceal their intentions until the clicking sounds their eyes make when spinning in their heads ultimately gives them away. We’re left to wonder what all those who have threatened us with famine and ruination over the years are going to do when their man or cause of choice abandons them and they are forced to come to terms with reality.

Who knows, perhaps by then the dome will be up and we can all take shelter under its  protective shield – that is, if they allow us in there with them.