Soggy Man; Running Man; Swollen Man; And Petty Theft, Succulents

Photo Caption: A fender-grinder in the parking lot outside Retro Junkie on N. Main Street in Walnut Creek on Saturday night resulted in damage to both vehicles, a DUI charge for the driver of the Challenger and a repair bill for the owner of the food truck. Another small drama unfolding in the Big City.

Out and about last night, ducking bouncers and ladies in Daisy Duke line dancing attire, risking life and limb in pursuit of a story.

We think you’d agree there was a quirky element to the past week’s news stories with some East Coast courtroom maneuvering that would make a circus contortionist blush; topsy turvy weather turning deserts into quagmires and a few local Easter eggs turning up to keep the hunt interesting.

First to blow up our cel phones and email was the annual Hajj to Black Rock City, Nevada and the artsy, dusty, cerebral celebration formerly known as Burning Man. We say formerly because, if you haven’t heard, some very rare and unexpected rainfall blew through the desert and turned the normally chalky, 107 degree playa into something more akin to the Hippie mud pit at Woodstock, 1969.

Tech bros and Trancers were circling the Porta Potties and rationing the edibles as floodwaters cut off 75,000 celebrants and officials counseled patience and conservation as even more precipitation was predicted. Decriers of the annual Pilgrimage On The Playa have taken some joy in the flooding and hardship experienced by blissed out Burners looking for fun or love or both – which sort of misses the point in light of the fact that Burning Man is a creative arts festival that has drawn thousands of devoted fans to the desert for years.

Anyway, they’re wet and cold out there this year but for some the party still thumps-thumps-thumps on.

Back home, talk appears to be heightening and reaching criticality on two important – or at least pressing – topics: crime and homelessness, with people expressing a desire to solve, or at least attempt to solve, one or the other. Neither would be easy, as both issues are multi-faceted, but it appears the public would like to see those in power attempt to tackle them in bite-size chunks until at least some progress is made and they take on a semblance of manageability if not resolution.

In an world hungry for quick solutions one was delivered by an unlikely source Friday when a former teacher – again, a former teacher – apparently seized the opportunity to express his displeasure with school officials letting him go by running onto the field during a Heritage High School football game. The man, later identified as 37-year-old Carlos Hurtado, managed to evade capture for several minutes before he was dropped like a lace handkerchief with a high body hit from the rival Granada High School head coach.

Hurtado, an ex-teacher at Heritage, was apparently unhappy about his separation – although it wasn’t clear if he resigned, was forced to resign or was terminated – chatter on social media suggesting he was “forced to resign” for unspecified reasons.

Brentwood police arrested Hurtado for disturbing a school activity, trespassing, and obstruction.

There are reports the Granada coach has been offered a tryout with the Niners but we’re still working to pin that down.

Also swollen, apparently, but for a different reason and in a different place, was a gentleman calling for assistance from his room at a Lafayette hotel – calling to report that his nether region had assumed an unnatural size. We’re not sure what type of activity transpired prior to his reporting the condition but some level of desperation had to have been required prior to making the call. Hope that one worked out.

There was also a call for assistance from the gentle folk at the Ruth Bancroft Garden and Nursery in Walnut Creek this week, the constant gardeners there calling to report that a man had walked off with a quantity of succulents – and if you ask any gardener they’ll tell you there’s nothing lower than stealing from another gardener. Return the succulents, bud.

That’s all for now Burners and Succulent Fanciers, there’s a new week ahead of us.