Home NEWS Local Scene Up And At ‘Em 24/680 People – “There’s A Storm Coming”

Up And At ‘Em 24/680 People – “There’s A Storm Coming”

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Stuff is happening and we’re up to get a jump on it, believing the old adage that the Early Bird gets first shot at the Breville latte maker.

When we say we work for beans around here we mean it, some kind-hearted soul donating a bag of coffee beans to keep our small squad on its feet and motivated. (Thank you O Divine Bean Supplier…)

Tip of the fedora to that kid in “The Terminator” who so accurately predicted our weather for the week. Our email inbox is already overflowing, gentle “suggestions” from our fans for things we should be investigating – “My neighbor” being the most often tendered lead. And we would have to ask, why does Mrs. Johannsen do her gardening in the nude at midnight? Hmm? We mean, there has to be something hinky behind that…

Sad/Bad news out of Sonoma County where two local men were found dead in their Sea Ranch home – an empty generator found in their hallway. It’s hard to keep pumping out precautionary words from experts dedicated to keeping us all alive only to have folks ignore that advice with sometimes fatal results. So don’t try to drive your Prius through high water, don’t run those generators inside your home and for Gawshsakes, whatever you do, don’t run with scissors.

Quick and Dirty News Tidbits: Shoplifters and stickup boys are hitting us hard and we’re not sure why that is, either, we thought the Christmas Crime Rush was over. Be on your guard, but not so much that you hose down the UPS guy with pepper spray when he’s trying to hand you a package, and use your powers of observation before calling the 5-0 (Police.)

Following this advice should help you avoid embarrassing moments such as when one good-hearted tipster called in to report a potential crime victim stumbling around Pleasant Hill with “bolts screwed into his head and neck.” And, yes, those instruments of torture turned out to be, upon inspection, cosmetic piercings – so know whereof you speak prior to dialing.

Okay, must go, our turn at the Breville before hitting the streets. Wish us well, we do the same to you… keep the water wings handy.

5 COMMENTS

  1. You’re all just lucky I’m working a patrol unit in San Mateo and not Lamorinda, I’d be taking all of you to jail.

    Just kidding.

    Firestone 11R

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