Missing Kid, Drone Porn, Hot Ticket, And The Meat Market

Made it through the weekend, though it was touch-and-go at times.

Let’s see (mumbling to ourselves as we leaf through notes we made at the time), it seems people are drinking heavily and running into things, check, and at times it appeared we were in the opening moments of M. Night Shyamalan’s “The Happening” as many of our neighbors opted to stop running from the personal demons which pursued them.

That several of these folks were on the younger end of the spectrum was particularly distressing for us, and we are hoping their families and friends are getting the support we all require but don’t always find.

We were happy to report that a missing Pleasant Hill woman was located after a dedicated effort Sunday, but distressed to hear that now we have a missing kid case – a newborn baby goat believed kidnapped by a woman who infiltrated the herd as it was grazing in Pinole.

Feel-Good News UPDATE: Kid located in a local park and reunited with herd and mom.

Being optimists at heart despite far too many years in the News Biz, we’re hoping there is some innocent explanation for this. We’re trying not to think about the similar thefts we covered in Golden Gate Park where critters went missing only to end up on local dinner tables – those who took them surprised to learn that the park was not an open-air food market put there for them.

Put the kid back. Please.

On Other Fronts:
We were surprised to learn (or maybe not so, as we’re not surprised by much these days) that some locals are gathering for “Drone Porn” parties.

No, not that kind of porn, though we have been offered clips of amorous couples engaged in backseat maneuvers as the probing eye of a hovering quadcopter captured every advance and retreat (Note: Don’t get a car with a moon roof). No, we’re talking War Porn.

Apparently, some local veterans and wannabe operators are gathering at satellite-enabled homes to stream the latest drone coverage from Ukraine, studying equipment and tactics – or lack of tactics – by Russian invaders in a shared effort to gather the latest intelligence on what they were always taught was the Great Russian Bogeyman.

No one was willing to go on the record as some hold down regular jobs and positions of authority, but the feeds they’re getting from the front lines are apparently picked over and digested with a healthy dose of skepticism and allowances for bias and the Fog of War.

One former vet and video watcher, currently in financial services, summed his interest in the clips from the front in this way:

“I like to see Russian soldiers running for their lives,” he said.

Wet And Wild
A bit of fun we were able to engage in this weekend involved a horrible film made way back in the day and featuring local sites in Walnut Creek, Moraga, and Orinda as well as local “actors,” many of whom are currently scurrying for cover.

We played off the lamentable 1979 flick “Swim Team” as a trivia question and since then the movie has experienced something of a resurgence, with locals seeking bootleg copies to scan for glimpses of themselves or people they knew/know. We’ve been swamped… well, asked several times… if we have a copy (we don’t) and apparently kids in the know are seeking copies to see what Mum or Dad looked like back in the day.

Apparently there’s some subtle blackmailing being suggested, with future driving privileges and loosened curfews at stake.

Meat Market:
No, not that kind. Though there has been a resurgence in the nightlife scene and dating dynamic, we hear, now that folks appear to have shed their HazMat suits.

We’re talking about our local stores being used as food banks by those unwilling to pay for their produce or meat and poultry – with those folks racking up quite a bill.

This one came to our attention after a reader in Pleasant Hill sent us video of people visiting their local market and leaving with baggies sagging under the weight of pilfered beef and poultry. Not just one or two “shoppers,” but lots of them, and if you’ve priced out the cost of a steak lately you’ll soon realize that these folks might as well be rustling the whole steer in one go.

Our reader had taken to naming the actors ripping off his local store, filming them as they came and went with hundreds of dollars worth of groceries stuffed into their clothes or bags, apparently without consequence. Eventually, he asked employees how much they were losing to pilferage and learned that it was in the area of a million dollars annually.

“So they’re eating Chateaubriand while I go vegetarian,” our videographer said. “I just tell myself it’s better for me in the long run.”