COVID Coffee Diaries: An Appeal For Normalcy In The Year Of Our “Lawd!… What’s Happening Now?!?”

We’ve just completed our second DeCon of the morning, convinced the postal carrier (who seems to come every second or third day now) had this suspicious little cough when they dropped off the weekly quota of cruise ship brochures – and we’ve fallen back on our Old Friend, Mister Latte, in a search for comfort and restoration.

We know you’re all dying to ask so we’re fine here at News24/680, two of our number soldiering on from home and the third busy recapturing all those wedding invitations he and his bride-to-be sent out before The Collapse. And, yes, we tried to talk him out of it but he’s in love… what are you gonna do?

But this screed is not about us, and we know all you playing at home are tapping your fingers impatiently and muttering “get on with it” so here you go, you asked for it:

We Flashed our Richmond subscribers word of a bank stickup in their city this morning and it appears the “perp,” as all you armchair detectives refer to them, got away – we just don’t know with how much.

We’ve also had shoplifting crews up and down the 24/680 take advantage of newly available parking outside local liquor stores and pharmacies – rushing in to overwhelm already overwhelmed employees and make off with a variety of goods of apparent importance during the COVID Collapse – alcohol and drugs. So there you go. Priorities.

Adam, our resident FlashMaster, is trying not to panic you all with lesser news alerts, but he says domestic incidents seem to be on the rise as households shelter together and domestic crime increases as Uncle Mike tries to sneak a twenty out of the Monopoly money one time too often. People are stressing and it can be hard to remain socially distanced when you’re all in the same living room.

Coyote Bite in Dublin yesterday, as we reported, with a pack circling a human family and – apparently – trying to pick off a human little’un and we’re grateful to members of the family who contacted us with info after what we know had to be an unnerving experience. Many of you have noted the resurgence of wildlife in our “semi-rural” areas of late and, while we generally applaud this enforced Back to Nature Movement – we advise caution as wild animals are still, well, wild. Child on the mend, we’re told.

Let’s see, oh, lots of folks writing with questions about aerial activity over their respective domiciles and our coterie of Resident Skywatchers has been able to ID most of them – both fixed and rotor craft plying our newly quiet airspace. Some of you have noted an increased presence of military aircraft overhead and – until they hold their hover and a chalk of Army Rangers fast-ropes down to seize your household supply of Charmin – we’re going with National Guard aircraft ferrying supplies to newly established facilities as explanation, with one of those newly established facilities making our pages this morning.

Yes, our Social Media interfaces are en fuego as you write with questions, tips, photos, etc. and that’s great, you know we like hearing from you and we’ll generally answer you unless it’s apparent to us you’re a Qanon Baker peddling the latest Rabbit Hole Conspiracy theory – in which case we’ll either ignore you or suggest you get some help.

Living and working in a Digital World we have encountered members of this and other conservative movements and, as we saw yesterday when a True Believer apparently tried to turn his locomotive into a torpedo aimed at a naval hospital ship, we knew they were capable of some bizarre things. Sooo – if you don’t hear back from us don’t take it too personally. Let’s just say we’re practicing appropriate social distancing, and hope that works against strains other than COVID-19.