Tuesday Tabloidism: So Long Ozz; Staying Off The Jumbotron; And Avoiding The Creeping Fervor

We’re tiptoeing between the Virga and actual rain droplets marking our Tuesday and pushing out a column while taking money off the felt on Wall Street and feeding the larder at our woodsy Bug Out Bunker – The Fourth Estate.

Eventful times, dear friends, eventful times. A reader suggests we “pour one out” for The Prince of Darkness, Ozzy Osbourne, after the 76-year-old rocker slipped his earthly bonds this morning in favor of the Great Rock ‘N Roll Band in the Sky.

We were never big fans though he had songs we fancied when the whiskey levels were right. We can only offer our condolences to those who knew and loved him.

For those of us left behind to battle the vagaries and earthbound tribulations of the living we have to say that watching a Tech CEO and his HR snuggle bunny wither like irradiated daisies in front of a roaming camera lens proved instructive this week. More than one reader reached out with stories of C-Suite antics of their own – so many, in fact, that we’re thinking this kind of Gary Hart “Follow Me Around… I Dare Ya” Moment is proof that charismatic, good looking and preternaturally smart people really aren’t all that bright, after all.

We didn’t spend much time on this one but our first clue that all was not right at Astronomer was embedded in the LinkedIn accounts of the principal players, marked by that slick, over-amped Corporate-ese that led us to remove our own listing years ago. After all is said and done and the Internet public flogging winds down, we think some divorce attorneys are going to be very, very happy with their billable hours.

There were other lessons delivered this week, among them that local criminal groups are upping their game. Crews seem to be communicating, massing for specific attacks on certain targets, and in at least one case in San Ramon bringing along some ordnance to help crack a targeted ATM machine. That one drew the FBI guys and… (is there still an Alcohol Tobacco & Firearms? We don’t know…) other forensics people to kick through the debris.

After posting video of an arrest in Walnut Creek we learned that the procedure has not gotten any more photogenic over the years, triggering non-involved civilian commentary on police procedure, our procedures, and featuring some snap mental health diagnoses we found impressive given that they were being made after a few seconds of video. Don’t know where you folks got your degrees but, dang, you’re good.

Speaking of lessons and crime, both came into play last week after the folks at a local Tesla dealership loaned one of their pricy vehicles out to a chap for a two-day “Tesla Experience” we might guess is intended to help sell cars. The dealership reported the car missing after the intended buyer failed to return it by his deadline and it was apparently found in Oakland and recovered there – with some drugs aboard not offered in the original Tesla Experience package.

We also learned there are people out there with special skills, including being able to identify specific cars just by the sound of their engines. One such gent surfaced recently when questioned by police as to some noisy, speeding traffic scofflaws in his neighborhood. When asked if he saw the speeding cars and if he could describe them the gearjammer told police: “I didn’t see them, but I’d say Ferrari… Lamborghini… and McLaren. I happen to be familiar with the types.” Whoa. Okay, but would you be able to identify our 1973 Ford Pinto by engine sound alone? Or would you need to hear the sound the wind makes whistling through the bullet holes?

And, lastly, we wonder if anyone else has noticed the subtle (and often not-so-subtle) proliferation of faith-based entertainment and ads threading their way into the mainstream of late. As refugees from a certain unnamed church we’re happy to leave the matters of faith and worship to the individual, acknowledging that doing so often brings comfort and support to the believer. That said, we’re distressed to see faith and government practices woven into one offering, with one supporting the other in uncomfortable ways. We’re seeing nakedly religious ads pushing government ideology turning up in movies and other entertainment – to the point where our brows knit and we say: “Dang, this movie is sure preachy…” In some cases the content’s origins are not fully disclosed and are identifiable only when researched.

One such inquiry returned: “Some critics have noted that the film’s faith-based elements are heavily emphasized, with some describing it as an ‘end-world fantasy steeped in The Rapture belief system.’ Others have criticized the film for being too heavy-handed in its messaging and for its ending, which includes an advertisement for a faith-based streaming service.”

Hmm. It has been an instructive week. In a lot of ways. It’s clear we have much more to learn, and that research is key if we’re to make our way.