Home NEWS Local Scene The Big News: Slower Than Turtle Sex

The Big News: Slower Than Turtle Sex


If we grabbed you with that headline allow us to explain.

The 24/680 is home to some pretty cool critters, including the once commonplace Western pond turtle, whose relatively few surviving members have taken up residence in our ponds and streams. Recently, ahead of the traditional opening day of turtle mating season, the charming little guys have begun to stir, staking out turtle singles bars and pads where – if things go well – the ladies can heave to and lay their eggs, hopefully ensuring future generations of turtles to come.

The thing is that the Westerners are private creatures who don’t like an audience when they mate and who tend to set their own pace when it comes down to Barry White and Champagne time. The whole process can go swiftly awry and, like those watched pots, the Westerns just don’t bubble on cue.

And so it is with some anticipated national news we’ve been told to expect this week, many frustrated readers checking in to express their chagrin with the pace of things back east. We get it, believe us, but we’ve taught ourselves not to think about the story many hope for and expect to see until it actually materializes, choosing to keep it on the back burner until it does.

We do this not to jinx an important process, like turtle mating – but because all of a sudden there is a lot of chatter and dust in the air, similar to that we’ve seen in years past. Much of it, frankly, smells like it is being manufactured by a single source and appears to be of dubious origin. We’re keeping our fingers on the appropriate pulse beats and will be ready to move if something substantive happens but until then we’re putting the matter out of our heads – and wishing our local turtles God Speed.

Because it’s important, we feel, to keep these things in perspective.


  1. Is this about the possible Trump arrest, the one where the Soros funded New York D.A. hired an expensive team of legal talent to figure out how to do the legal gymnastics to turn a misdemeanor into a felony for this one person even after said D.A. reduced a huge number of felonies in his district to misdemeanors as part of his soft on crime agenda? Bottom line, despite what you think about Trump, this is government officials trying to decide who is the next candidate. That’s a very slippery slope.

    • You would be referring to his first “possible” arrest, I think. He is under 5 or 6 criminal investigations currently, and his multiple legal teams continue to succumb to the facts and the law with respect to his crime spree. He will be charged for fraud in NY by the AG, for obstruction of justice and theft of government documents by Special Counsel Smith, and for election tampering and possibly racketeering in GA. We happen to start with the least interesting case, but make no mistake, he’s going to be convicted because there is so much evidence, and he keeps adding more. He will be in civil and criminal courts for the rest of his life and will probably never see the inside of a jail cell.

      • No one would care about these issues if Trump had just ridden off into the sunset to write a book. It should be a red flag when all of these issues have in common that they are not to pursue anything like justice (e.g. no one cares about whatever classified documents or Biden would be under arrest already) but rather to try to keep Trump from being a candidate. I get it. There is something operating in human psychology or politics that has resulted in the majority of earth’s population living under non-Democratic governments.

  2. Some justice would be nice. Until then I prefer not to think of him. I believe he set the country back about 20 years,.

    • I think he was trying for 40 years. This country has become such a mess in the last few decades and it’s embarrassing to hand the reins to a generation who will face such problems.

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