Rhyming Cutlets And Dodgy Doggerel: A Poetic Summation Of The Year Just Passed

O, Verily, we gather again and seek to explain,
the precious loss of another year now down the drain.

Where did it go? What happened? What became of us?
It could have been worse, we think – we were almost hit by that County Connection bus. 

On the National front there was seeming dysfunction, cruelty, and loss,
and that was just a political race, to see who’d be Boss.

In a year marked by loss our High Court bade farewell to a judge named Scalia,
and we were chastened so many in the nation sought escape in Madea.

Music Makers also left us in droves – people like Bowie, Prince, Reynolds, and Frey,
leaving us to ponder how they were chosen and why. 

Others left us, too – big people with short names like Ali, Wilder, Glenn, and Ifill,
wordsmiths like Safer, Lee, and Wiesel – scribblers and thinkers we found delightful.

While NASA pushes deeper into space and Mars frequently mentioned, 
living in the 24/680 can be like another dimension.

On the Home Front we kept the fires burning bright,
to stave off frost, coyotes, and stalkers alike.

Big stories we thought important were well read, it’s true,
but what’s important to us wasn’t always important to you.

We wrote about sinkholes, punch-ups, an Airbnb party gone bad,
moved into roundabouts, parklets, and locals so rad.

We wrote about land preservation and our landmark theaters,
identity theft, burglars, and grifters so often we sounded like bleaters.

After all was said and done what were the “most read” stories of 2016?
Well: Jack in the Box Leaving Town, Burritos, Donuts, and Cars That Gleam.

As we bid farewell to the year just passed,
we were tempted to give it a swift kick in the… calendar.

Instead we’ll wrap up this work with some praise and our thanks, 
to those readers who have taken us to their hearts and their banks. 

As the seconds tick down and 2017 stands ready but mum,
we give a hearty NEWS24/680 cheer to the Harrigans, the Nicholsons, and Ms. Dunn.

We’re not going to get to you all and we know it, sending our thanks to:
The Eight Amandas, Iron Mike, Kaveh, Shelly, Scott, Greg, Glen, Russell and Napoor…
Our chiefs of police, Cathy, Julie, their support staff, midnight tipsters and more.

To Jay, Jimmy, Lanny, Denton, Geoff and those in the trenches, 
especially Adam and Spencer and those wielding wrenches. 

To Mandy, Danielle, Tina, Francine, Sandie, Kyle, Krista, Rich, and Joan,
we send our thanks and best wishes – without you we’d feel so alone.

Not everyone likes us, we get that, it’s cool,
Ancient editors bade us to make waves, hey, it’s their rule.

To Brian, King Troll, Mongo and sometimes Mr. McKinnis,
We love and appreciate you all, as much as our Guinness.

Twenty Sixteen is behind us and 2017 ahead, 
though few in number we’ll try to keep you well-read.

Happy News Year!