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And Now, The Moraga Crime Files…


A collection of bawdy tales and crime yarns culled from the files of the Moraga police department:

The Case Of The Missing Nickels

On July 20 at 9:15 p.m. officers were sent to a residence in the 2000 block of Ascot Drive in response to a larceny report at a local apartment building. Apparently someone pried open the coin box to the communal laundry room and made off with change with an estimated value of $300. No suspects or leads, but you can bet that change box will be harder to break into in future.

The Case Of The Nearly Good Samaritans

The next day, on July 21 at around 11:15 a.m., a delivery truck lost a metal box containing cash and business papers at the intersection of Moraga Way and Moraga Road, locals reporting that two people retrieved the box and placed it near an open business so it could be watched until it could be retrieved. Which it was. However, investigators said that when the delivery service returned to retrieve the errant shipment they discovered the box had been opened and the cash removed. Police are investigating.

The Case Of The Rueful Churchgoer

Actually, the victim in this case was just visiting Moraga Valley Presbyterian Church for a meeting when his car was vandalized – to the tune of $3,000 in damage.

The Case Of The Limpet Checking Accounts

On July 22, a local resident informed police that persons unknown had created two bank accounts with personal information gathered through unknown means and were in the process of siphoning funds into the accounts when the activity was noted and stopped by the victim’s bank. No loss, no harm, no foul – but the victim was understandably upset by the breach and is not along. This has been happening a lot.

The Case Of The College Car Crasher

On July 23 at 9:10 p.m. a worker at Saint Mary’s College informed police he returned to his car to find a stranger sleeping inside. Said stranger was asked to vacate the car which he apparently did, but not before damaging the vehicle’s sun visor. The car’s owner, now kind of steamed, told police the car crasher told him he’d had too much to drink at his class reunion earlier in the day and needed a place to wait out his buzz. Charity prevailed as the car’s owner chose not to press charges and the drowsy reunion-goer was last seen waiting at the college guard shack for a lift from Uber.

And, Last But Not Least, The Case Of What’s Going To Replace Jack In The Box

Several local detectives working overtime on this one, and a nice crew of people cleaning out the old storefront Wednesday morning kiddingly said that it was going to be a bar – which produced some smiles from locals in search of drink. But the upshot is: no leads, no likely suspects, lots of rumors.

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  1. Hhaha! Murder by television — you must be watching the DNC!! Love the old pulp covers. Bring back memories.

  2. What do the oddsmakers say in terms of whether it will be replaced by another fast food biz or another enterprise entirely?

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