Our title today bears a couple of good names for a local rock band if not for our daily scribble and general observation on Life in The Numbers.
Readers have taken note of the apparent upswing in traffic mishaps in our area – some with fatal consequences – and local police are doing what they can to calm the ebb and flow of high-powered metal flying around our local roads and freeways. Police, as usual, find themselves taking fire from both ends of the spectrum – battered for aggressive ticketing and calming campaigns on one hand and, ironically, for not doing enough to address the issue on the other.
The upshot is that there are more of you/us out there than there are police and CHP officers on a given shift and, for some reason, there has been an noticeable uptick in poor driving and resultant mayhem on our roadways.
What’s to blame? We point, half-kiddingly, to those Fast & Furious comedies – which have half-convinced people that cars really can fly and no one gets hurt when they slip their Maserati under an 18-wheeler.
Speaking of traffic, there was lots of it in the mountains Monday as Burned Out Burning Man celebrants streamed out of Nevada and back home to Silicon Valley (what is it with sand and these people, anyway?). Locals caught in the resultant traffic jam noted the creative, rattletrap nature of some of the vehicles in the Burning Man Caravan and quietly made notes to check out the festival next year.
Speaking of an end to the party, NEWS24/680 receives frequent tales of formerly happy marriages dissolving into knife-fight legal battles over children (so sorry), property, art collections (even sorrier), cars and, sniff, favored pets. Unless these dissolutions are paraded on the public stage we leave them alone and wish participants the best but we’ve also noticed an offshoot of the D.I.V.O.R.C.E. bloodsport: the Orphans Of Divorce Movement.
Unrelated to the woes suffered by children impacted by divorcing parents – which we know is significant and, again, our sympathies – the Orphans we’re talking about are newly liberated adults shaking off former participation in weekend soccer parties and sleepovers and celebrating, with a capital “C” – their regained freedom; hooking up with abandon, taking trips to exotic locales in friendly, communal groups and melting down their wedding bands for the gold content. All mention of monogamy and matrimony is verboten and the watchword, we’re told, is to find and build a happy new life. And if you find someone to do that with along the way, that’s cool, but in the meantime the party light is lit.
If you’re a member of the Orphans, drop us a note and let us know how things are going for you.
And we know how things are going for the poor guys who happen to have trucks similar to one believed used by a man reportedly “annoying children” in Moraga Tuesday. Parents, understandably annoyed themselves about the incident, have been calling down the thunder on men who happen to look like the person described by two girls on Camino Pablo and who happen to have a truck matching the given description. Surprisingly, or perhaps not if you’re a grizzled old hand who has seen this before, there are lots of men and trucks out there who happen to meet that description and they are paying a price as police – duty-bound and never happy with child annoyers – check them out.
So, a cautionary word – if you’re going to drop a dime on someone you think is suspicious, a process not unlike the so-called “SWATting” phenomena – you may want to watch your target a little while to make sure they’re actually doing someone wrong before you call them in. It saves valuable police time, not to mention wear and tear on a person’s nerves when the officers light them up.
Okay? Party on, Orphans. Be safe, kids. Don’t hit anyone, drivers. Let’s see what happens today…